Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize