I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
