tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I licked your asshole in confidence.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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