Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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