I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
