he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
