Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
