Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize