Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
