Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
