trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
40s are totally the cure
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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