At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize