Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
