elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
