i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
