This girl is more easily done than said...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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