So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
