I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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