Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
