4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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