I don't usually arrange sex via text message
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
