You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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