I'm lost and stupid without you.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize