there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
