I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
