I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
