my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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