Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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