I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
