Yo dont text me then not text me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
