it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize