More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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