so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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