so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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