I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
