Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
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