heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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