Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
