Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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