Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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