You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
