She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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