I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
