i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
