dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
home. puking in laundry basket.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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