brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
