sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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