she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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