I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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