forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
