ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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