Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
