So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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