My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I booty called her while she was in labor.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
