your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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