im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
