So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
