your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
